Don't You Hate It When...

you let your own fears and insecurities stop you from possibly getting something that you might love?

Backstory...I was sitting at the lab waiting to get some bloodwork done (standard pregnancy stuff, no biggie) and I saw a lady with a fantastic bag (one that could also double as a pretty chic diaper bag if needed). It was orange, and leather-ish (it could have been real because I was in La Jolla after all, but it might have been synthetic) and was just perfect. I was coveting it...I could even picture myself carrying it. I should have stopped and asked her where she got it, but I didn't. Why? Because I was worried that she would think me too weird or too forward or psycho, so I kept my trap shut. Instead, I've spent the last 45 minutes on the internet googling as much as I could to try and find a similar bag, all to no avail. I do this all the time...and I kick myself every time it happens. I see someone wearing a cute top, or a cute dress or a cute pair of shoes and I don't ask. Grrrr...curse my insecurities.

Anyone else do this, or am I the sole, lame, tongue-tied person secretly coveting what others have rather than just asking and possibly getting it for myself?

Been a long time gone and...

this is why:


No, I didn't miraculously have a third child without telling anyone, but I am watching my friends little girl during the week from 7:30 to about 4:00 every day. She's two months older than Camden (almost to the day, even), so needless to say it's a little bit of a handful dealing with two babies under the age of 6 months and an almost 2-year-old. Any sort of schedule that I might have managed to get the boys on is now completely out the door and my stress level is a little bit higher than it used to be. I am, however, VERY grateful for the fact that I have been blessed with two very mellow, easy-going little boys who are willing to share their mommy and her time with someone else. I do however now have extra guilt for the fact that I can no longer devote 100% of my time to my little boys, and I'm trying to figure out how to get over it (for the record, I really don't think it will ever happen). I'm also grateful for the fact that I have been able to stay at home with both of my boys. I couldn't imagine having to go back to work at any point in their lives (at least not while they are this young) and I recognize just how lucky I am to be a stay-at-home mom (and I'm loving that title).

Anyway, before I kind of became homebound (the back seat of my focus just isn't big enough for 3 car seats and we're not quite ready for a mini-van yet) we managed to have a lot of fun with the boys. There was, of course, Halloween where my little lion (Camden) managed to win the prize for the cutest baby costume in the ward, but before that there was a visit from cousins (Becky, Keegan still asks daily where they are. He will be so excited to see them again soon, as will AJ and I), there was a trip to the pumpkin patch, an afternoon at Petco park where Keegan was able to realize all of his major-league dreams (if he even has any, that is) and the general busyness of home renovations (the boys room should be done this weekend, fingers crossed and all).

It is amazing how quickly time passes. Keegan will be two in just a few months, and has become such a little chatterbox, even if most of it is only understood by me and AJ. He is such the typical boy and is really quite the character with the greatest personality. Camden is 3(!) months old and growing like crazy (although not nearly at the rate Keegan did). He loves to smile and will do so on command or to anyone who pays him any sort of attention. He now rolls over any time I put him on his stomach (the little stinker). We will be blessing him on the 30th of November (not a shock to my family, but maybe news to others) so anyone who wants to make the trek to San Diego is welcome.

Here's some photos from our day at Petco Park....they'll have to do until I have time to post more.