Fear, Trust and Faith

fear (feer) n. - a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. concern or anxiety; solicitude.

There are few things in this life that I am afraid of. Spiders, roaches, and other creepy crawly things...I don't like them, but I wouldn't say that I'm afraid of them. Heights and flying....not really a problem. Snakes, sharks, etc...I don't like them and wouldn't want to be found anywhere near them, but I'm not necessarily afraid of them. That being said, there are things that I am afraid of. I am afraid of losing any member of my family. I love them all and could not imagine any one of them not being in my life for forever.

In the immediate sense of things, I am most afraid of losing my little baby. For those that may not know (and really that's probably most of you), Camden is having surgery on Dec. 16th. At my 20 week ultrasound (something that seems light years ago now) there was a mass discovered in his right lung. After multiple tests both before and after his birth, it was determined that the mass was pulmonary sequestration. Essentially, during his lung development a portion of his right lung didn't develop like the rest of his lung and while it has an artery that goes into it and supplies blood to it, it does not function like normal lung tissue, and really serves no purpose. We really didn't tell this to anyone other than family for the most part, because we didn't want to cause anyone undue worry. That being said, the closer his surgery date gets, the more afraid I've become because I can not imagine my life without Camden in it.

trust (truhst) n. - reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence. confident expectation of something; hope.

I do not trust easily. It takes time for me to make friends, close friends, because I do not trust easily. That is not to say that the people that I meet are bad and shouldn't be trusted...they are, it's just that I do not let people into my life and into my thoughts and emotions and I do not let down my guard until I know that I can trust them implicitly.

The more scared I have become about Camden's surgery, the more I have had to trust in the surgeon that we have chosen to perform it, and in the hospital where it will be taking place, and in the anesthesiologist who will be watching over my son while he is in surgery, and in the nurses who will be providing his care both during and after the surgery. I have had to place my trust in the knowledge that this is the best thing for him, that he is young enough that there will be no ill effects, that all things will go as they should and that he will heal quickly and it has been hard for me to do, but I have done it.

faith (feyth) n. - confidence or trust in a person or thing. the trust in God and in His promises.

I have done it because I have been able to trust implicitly in my Heavenly Father and in the promises that I have been given in blessings that I have received. I have been able to trust in the doctors because of the faith that I have in the prayers that have been offered on our behalf. I have been able to do it, because in times past, when I have doubted my own strength to make it through the challenges that I have been given, the Lord has held my hand and He has carried me through the darkest times in my life. I have faith that He will do so again, and this faith has made things just a little bit easier today.

Meet My Brother Ben..

Who just happens to be THE GREATEST UNCLE KNOWN TO MAN!!! At one point he was pushing 5 kids on the swings. He has countless energy, and was willing to play and entertain the kids all weekend long. (Seriously, Keegan cried when he realized that Uncle Ben had gone home). He really deserves a medal.

He's also a fearless lobster hunter. First time out and he managed to catch the biggest "bug" of the night. He showed the veterans (AJ and another guy from our ward) how to get things done. If you get a chance, ask him what his first impression of lobster was. It's pretty funny.

He's also pretty suave! :) In general, the greatest brother that 6 sisters could have asked for and then some. He's a great friend, a hardworking employee, intelligent, dedicated to his church calling and one of the coolest people I know.

Thanks again, Ben, for all your help this weekend. We miss you already!!! :)

Attitude of Gratitude

"You could have an experience with the gift of the Holy Ghost today. You could begin a private prayer with thanks. You could start to count your blessings and then pause for a moment. If you exercise faith, and with the gift of the Holy Ghost, you will find that memories of other blessings will flood into your mind. If you begin to express gratitude for each of them, your prayer may take longer than usual. Remembrance will come. And so will gratitude." - Henry B. Eyring "To Draw Closer to God"

My friend Angie had that quote on her blog and it truly made me realize just how much I have to be grateful for. I have been blessed with so much in my life. I have an amazing husband who is so patient with me, and who is so willing to help others out, even if it means giving up some of his very hard-earned free time. I am lucky that he was so willing to have 13 members of my family here this weekend (that's enough to drive any a little crazy) and so lucky that he enjoyed it. He takes care of me in ways that I didn't even think I would need taking care of and he never ceases to amaze me with his capacity for love and fun and generosity.



I have been blessed with an amazing family. I was lucky enough to have 13 members of my family here this weekend to celebrate Thanksgiving, as well as to be here when we blessed Camden in church (the other 4 members of my family were GREATLY missed). I am lucky that I have been blessed with such great sisters and a brother who truly bring out the best of me, and who remind me constantly that it's ok to not be perfect, and that sometimes you really just need to sit back and relax and let life happen. I'm so lucky to have a family that is willing to play silly board games (even when it's a little late and we are all a little punchy and willing to laugh at just about anything). I am lucky that they are so willing to play with and entertain my kids with no rest in sight (Uncle Ben will be sorely missed when he goes back to Utah by Keegan). I'm lucky that I will be able to carry those memories with me always, and that I will have the opportunity to make many more with my family.



I have been blessed with two amazing little boys who have made me a mother. They have demanded more from me than I ever thought would be possible for me give, and yet, whatever they have gotten from me seems to be enough. I am blessed to have such a happy little baby boy who smiles and coos and giggles and snuggles with you like no one's business, no matter what kind of chaos might be going on around him. He is seriously the happiest little baby in the world. Yes, he does cry, but those moments are usually pretty few and far between. I am lucky to have an almost 2-year-old(!) who every morning has to come into my room and check where every member of his family is before he can settle down into my bed and snuggle with me and his baby brother before our day really begins. I will always love hearing him say "Dada? Momma? Baby? Me Me (his name for himself) and then seeing his smile of satisfaction that everyone and everything is in it's place and that all things are as they should be. He gives loves like no one else can and is so gentle and loving with his baby brother (and Kaitlynn too when she is here) and could not be a better kid.

I have been blessed with great friends. Some new, some old, some that I have lost touch with, but I have amazing friends. All of them have, in their own way, shaped a piece of who I am today and I will always be grateful to them for their friendship. It amazes me to see the strength that so many of them have when they are faced with some truly trying times in their lives, and it gives me hope that I too will have the strength that I need when I face my own challenges in life.

I have been blessed with health, with financial security, with a home, with modern conveniences that make my life so much easier, with freedom to think for myself, to make my own decisions, to live as I see fit, to believe as I want and so many other countless things. The Lord is truly amazing, and I am truly grateful for all that I have been given in my life.

Been a long time gone and...

this is why:


No, I didn't miraculously have a third child without telling anyone, but I am watching my friends little girl during the week from 7:30 to about 4:00 every day. She's two months older than Camden (almost to the day, even), so needless to say it's a little bit of a handful dealing with two babies under the age of 6 months and an almost 2-year-old. Any sort of schedule that I might have managed to get the boys on is now completely out the door and my stress level is a little bit higher than it used to be. I am, however, VERY grateful for the fact that I have been blessed with two very mellow, easy-going little boys who are willing to share their mommy and her time with someone else. I do however now have extra guilt for the fact that I can no longer devote 100% of my time to my little boys, and I'm trying to figure out how to get over it (for the record, I really don't think it will ever happen). I'm also grateful for the fact that I have been able to stay at home with both of my boys. I couldn't imagine having to go back to work at any point in their lives (at least not while they are this young) and I recognize just how lucky I am to be a stay-at-home mom (and I'm loving that title).

Anyway, before I kind of became homebound (the back seat of my focus just isn't big enough for 3 car seats and we're not quite ready for a mini-van yet) we managed to have a lot of fun with the boys. There was, of course, Halloween where my little lion (Camden) managed to win the prize for the cutest baby costume in the ward, but before that there was a visit from cousins (Becky, Keegan still asks daily where they are. He will be so excited to see them again soon, as will AJ and I), there was a trip to the pumpkin patch, an afternoon at Petco park where Keegan was able to realize all of his major-league dreams (if he even has any, that is) and the general busyness of home renovations (the boys room should be done this weekend, fingers crossed and all).

It is amazing how quickly time passes. Keegan will be two in just a few months, and has become such a little chatterbox, even if most of it is only understood by me and AJ. He is such the typical boy and is really quite the character with the greatest personality. Camden is 3(!) months old and growing like crazy (although not nearly at the rate Keegan did). He loves to smile and will do so on command or to anyone who pays him any sort of attention. He now rolls over any time I put him on his stomach (the little stinker). We will be blessing him on the 30th of November (not a shock to my family, but maybe news to others) so anyone who wants to make the trek to San Diego is welcome.

Here's some photos from our day at Petco Park....they'll have to do until I have time to post more.

BOO!

Just a quick sneak preview of the festivities to come!!!



Love,
The Mischievous Little Monkey and The Super Cuddly Lion

I've so been there...

I had made Keegan his lunch, and then gone to check on Camden who was sleeping (HOORAY!!) and then pay a couple of bills. Keegan got really, really quiet (which usually means he's up to no good), so I went out to check on him and this is what I found. He was so tired that he fell asleep eating his lunch. What this picture doesn't totally show you is the fact that before he laid his head down he had the foresight to push his plate out of the way so that he wasn't laying on it. Oh to be a kid again and just go so hard that you crash.

And because I can, here's a couple of pictures of Camden. I can't believe how big he has gotten. He really doesn't look like the typical 6 week old. He's about 12 1/2 pounds now. We'll see for sure just how much he's grown when we go to the doctor's in a couple of weeks (although I'm not looking forward to the shots that he will be getting).

Our Own Little Picasso

This is what happens when it's late at night, AJ's gone at a meeting, and I'm nursing Camden and trying to get him asleep. The house gets really quiet and I know that Keegan is up to no good.


He was so proud of himself. He had colored all the way down my hall, on both sides of the hall. It was all I could do to not laugh as I told him "No, we don't use our colors on the walls." Unfortunately, I think that I have only myself to blame, since the day before I had marked his height on the wall with pencil.


He had to help me clean up, of course, although I'm pretty sure that it wasn't the punishment that I was hoping it would be (and it really only lasted long enough for me to take the photos documenting the whole thing). Thank goodness for Mr. Clean Magic Eraser sponges. They really do take crayon off the walls!

A Little Perspective...

This is Keegan now:

pardon the blurriness; AJ was taking the picture himself.

And this was Keegan a year ago:

It never ceases to amaze me how much of a difference one year can make; especially in the life of a little boy. It is like night and day.

AJ on the other hand never seems to age at all. Personally, I don't think that's very fair, but I guess that's just the way things are.

It's Potty Time

Yep, that's right. AJ and I are now embarking on a journey into unchartered territory (at least for the two of us). We are starting to potty train Keegan (and for those of you who really don't want to read a post about pee and poop, I totally understand, and feel free to skip the remainder of this post).

Keegan learned the sign for "potty" forever ago, but I don't think that he really made the correlation between the sign and actually doing it until recently. He's been telling AJ every night for the past week or so when he's been in the bath that he's needed to go to the bathroom (and to be fair, AJ has been telling and showing him for months how "big boys" go to the bathroom). So, AJ started taking him out of the tub and sitting him on the toilet and Keegan's loved it! Apparently he's a little backward, since he loves to poop on the toilet and he's really good about telling us when he needs to now (especially since I've begun bugging him a billion times a day about whether he has to go or not), but he doesn't really tell me when he has to pee, which is why he's still in diapers for the moment. Personally, I think some of the appeal was that daddy would give him high-5's every time he did something in the toilet, and I gave him a dum-dum today, and that he got to use his special green soap to wash his hands when he was done, but it's a start and we'll take what we can get.

That being said...for my readers that have been through this before, I'm looking for any words of wisdom, advice, suggestions, etc. that you can give me. Since he's already used to sitting on the toilet we aren't going to get him his own separate one (because I really don't want to have to empty it to be honest) and are just going to get a step stool to help him get on the toilet. I have been told to not use pull-ups, as they tend to provide a safety net for the kids sometimes, and a friend of mine did the whole "7 days with the kid being buck naked from the waist down" way, and it worked, but she has wood floors and I have carpet everywhere so her messes were a whole lot easier to clean-up. We did go out and buy him some "big boy underwear" today, but I'm not sure he really understood what we were buying, or what it means. He is only 20 1/2 months, afterall. So, what's worked for you? What didn't work? I'm all ears.

So, I'm a Slacker...

What can I say, I've been slacking a little on the whole blogging lately. We've been busy, but not necessarily with anything earth-shatteringly important to talk about, and it's been hot (seriously, bring on the fall weather already...or at least what passes for fall in California) and I've been trying to keep Keegan occupied and busy and then I fall into bed each night and then think "oh wait, I wanted to blog today" right before I fall into a semi-deep sleep for 3 1/2 hours (yes, Camden is actually letting me sleep that long...HURRAY!!).

So, in order to make up for the lack of posts I will at least post some pictures, because really, that's probably all anyone who reads my blog is looking for, and to be honest, my brain isn't totally functioning right now, at least not enough to compose complete blog posts (hence the long run-on sentences. It's a good thing I'm no longer in school and being graded on this).


I love this picture...despite the fact that it's part in shadow and part in bright sunlight I love that Keegan is so gentle and loving with his brother. This was early one morning and Keegan just laid his head down on the pillow next to Camden. So great!!! We've been lucky...I'm well aware that it could have ended up very differently for us having had two kids so close together.


Keegan wanted to "hold" his brother (personally I think he was stalling and trying to put off bedtime), but only daddy could help him, so mommy snapped the picture.


This is what happens when AJ gets Keegan ready for bed. In the first picture, Keegan has AJ's socks on his feet and is pretending to call his dad on the phone (who just happens to be standing in front of him taking the picture). The little half smirk/grin is what makes me laugh the most in this picture. The second one is of Keegan signing the emotion "scared". It's one of the greatest signs that he does. He might know a lot of non-useful signs (I mean, really, does he need to know how to sign "skunk" or "rainbow" right now?), but the signing has been fabulous because he can still tell us what he needs, although he has definitely become the little chatter these days.


AJ had been looking for months on craigslist (seriously, greatest website ever!!!) and he finally found this one. He's had to restain it (and it's actually not totally restained yet), and they just put it up about a week ago, but Keegan loves it, and it means I don't always have to take him to the park when he wants to ride the slides and swing on the swings. There is a bonus to having a big backyard.



So I braved the zoo with both the boys about a week ago. Keegan had been asking to see the elephants and I wanted to make good on my promise to take him. Camden pretty much slepth the whole time, and Keegan was how he always is at the zoo...happy and friendly and wanting to look at everything.



I realized as I was going through my pictures for this blog that I have very few pictures of Camden. I guess what they say is true...you take more pictures and video of your first baby than you do of any subsequent children. Poor Camden...I guess I better get on that, so that I have pictures to put in his album. He was a little grumpy when I took this, but it shows how big he's gotten. At his 1-month check up he weighed in at 11 lbs and was 22 1/2 inches long. He's totally a little porker, but I love it.

Time Flies...

So, I'm still alive. I can't believe that it has been two weeks already. Seriously, it blows my mind. Just over two weeks ago, I was lamenting the fact that time couldn't pass fast enough and now I want it to slow down just a little and let me catch my breath (and some zzzzz's while I'm at it).

We have been busy...it really is different this time around. I was terrified to take Keegan anywhere after he was born. Maybe because he was my first, maybe because it was winter and colder, maybe because I didn't seem to be feeling as good as I do this time around...who knows. I just didn't want to take him out and about for quite some time. Not so much with Camden, to the point where I actually feel a little guilty that he (Camden) hasn't had nearly as much snuggle and relax with Mom time as his older brother did. I was ready to take him to Sea World the day after we got home from the hospital (thankfully, smarter heads prevailed and AJ convinced me to stay home). Camden has however, already made it to his first football game, which really, is there a better "first outing" than that? Thankfully the Chargers won, and Camden and I got to enjoy it all from the comfort of an enclosed box which was relatively quiet, while Keegan and AJ watched from the seats that were much louder (their choice, I might add).

We have been spoiled...no one more so than Keegan. He has had lots of play time with his cousins (thanks to Becky being here with Aiden and Reilly and helping keep Keegan busy and preoccupied) and a TON of unprecedented one-on-one time with his Dada, and he has loved it. They went to the zoo, to the pool, to Sea World, to the aforementioned Charger game where he got to stuff his face full of potato chips and popcorn (a treat he had never had before but one that he instantly fell in love with). He danced to the music played at the game, he clapped and cheered whenever anyone did something great on the field and he clutched his little football tightly in his hands the whole way home. Now that AJ is back at work full-time this week, Keegan has had to adjust to the slower pace of life that mom has to lead right now, but he is adjusting (even though he still asks for "dada" roughly 20 times a day).

We have been well-fed...or at least Camden has. My little porker (and yes I can call him that) has already put on a pound since he was born and is currently weighing 9 lbs. 12 oz. The doctor has said he is looking great and seems to be doing just fine. While I don't think that he will put on as much weight as Keegan did that first month (the kid went from 9 lbs. to 12 lbs. in 4 short weeks), Camden is not shy about eating to his belly's content. Unfortunately for me, that means dinner is usually a bowl of cereal at 10:30 at night because I really don't want to warm up dinner and eat a full meal that late. This however, has helped the pregnancy weight already start to come off (Hurray!!!).

(We have also developed a nasty case of baby acne, which thanks to the heat and, apparently, all my excess hormones, means new photos might be a few weeks coming. so these will have to do for a while. Any help on how to clear this up quickly would be greatly appreciated).

We are adjusting. For the most part, Keegan is doing great. He gives his little brother lots of kisses and doesn't like when Camden is crying. He is willing to help fetch things for his mom (most of the time) and is usually pretty gentle and careful around Camden. There are the rougher moments, like when Keegan has decided that his brother is done eating and tries to pull him off my lap, but that is to be expected. I just have to make sure that when Camden is sleeping (which is does quite a bit), Keegan gets my full, undivided attention. So far, it has helped keep the relative peace in our household.

Thank you all for your well wishes and comments and phone calls and help (seriously, Becky, I can't thank you enough for spending as much time with us as you did and for keeping Keegan busy and occupied...we miss you and the girls already). I will get back to all of you one on one eventually...unfortunately, it may take a little while.

Love you all!!!

Plans...Schmans...

When we were talking about whether or not to induce, a friend of mine commented that knowing her luck, she'd try and schedule a date and her baby would just end up coming when he/she wanted, without regards to the plans that have been made. I should have taken that to heart and considered it a warning.

So much for the best laid plans, because apparently my son wanted to let me know that the only schedule that mattered was the one that he was on and that it for sure did not have any room for negotiation. I really thought that we were safe...I mean, Keegan was 2 days past his 40-week due date, so I really didn't see a problem with scheduling to induce me 9 days before my due date this time around...and then my water broke Tuesday morning, changing all of our best laid, and carefully thought out plans (the ensuing scramble to get a hold of AJ, who was in surgery at the time, pack my hospital bag, try and prepare Keegan for everything that was to come and not completely lose it is pretty funny and entertaining now that I'm looking back on it...not so much at the time, but thanks to Becky, I made it through).

I guess that's what I get for thinking that I have any control over my life whatsoever, because here he is...a day earlier than his parents had planned, but not a moment too soon:

Camden Jay Durfee

Born: Aug. 19, 2008 at 3:56 p.m.

Weight: 8 lb. 13 oz. (although the nurses did say that he probably weighed more when he first came out, but they took so long cleaning him up and warming him up that he peed all over them and his blankets before they put him on the scale - serves them right for taking so long to get him into my arms).

Height: 21 inches

He gave us a little scare when he came out with the cord wrapped around his neck 3 times and once around his arm (hence the nurses taking so long checking him out), but he's a little fighter who has already asserted his independence. In some ways, this has been a much easier experience the second time around, and in other's it's been harder. It's an adjustment going from Keegan and his 25 pounds or so to this teeny, tiny little baby who doesn't even seem to weigh a pound. Sometimes, I feel like I'm learning this stuff all over again, but I have to admit, I'm loving every minute of it.

We are both already home from the hospital (they let us go yesterday, something I am forever grateful to my doctor for) and are slowly settling into life as a family of four. It was hard not being at home with AJ and Keegan for 2 days, but I have to say I got pretty spoiled having Camden pretty much all to myself for those 2 days. Keegan's doing ok, which is pretty good all things considered. He's still a little more attached to his dad right now, than to his mom, but he usually gets that way when he's had a lot of one on one dada time.

More pictures will come as we get them off of other people's camera (did I mention the fact that my bag wasn't packed?), as will the updates, but for now, here's the first official family photo (thanks Mom and Dad for having your camera there!):

On a somewhat different note...couldn't they be twins...or even triplets when you consider AJ's baby picture? I mean really...the family resemblance is kind of scary.

37-ish Weeks and Counting...

And so the countdown begins. Hopefully, if things go as we have planned, I will be induced on Wednesday, August 20th. That means 7 more days filled with preparation for his arrival. That's 168 more hours before this little guy is added to our family. That's 10,080 more minutes of my life that will be filled with a myriad of emotions: fear, guilt, apprehension, hope, excitement, joy, exhaustion.

It didn't really hit me until today how much everything will change once we go from a family of 3 to a family of 4. I worry...constantly...about how this will affect Keegan. I hope that he is young enough that he won't really notice too much of a change, but I worry about how he is going to react when he has to wait, or when he has to start doing more things for himself. Right now, he is the cruise director of my day/life. When he wants something, for the most part, all he has to do is grab my hand and pull me in the direction he wants to go. That will all change, and while I know it will be good for him to learn to share a little more and to wait his turn, or to really listen when I say "no", I worry that it will somehow affect the way that he feels about me. Tonight, as AJ was taking him out of my arms where he fell asleep, Keegan stirred a little and murmured "My Momma" not once, but twice. It was the sweetest thing that I think I have heard in a long time. Usually, the last word out of his mouth as we are laying him down is "Dada". Will he no longer want his momma once I bring another little baby into our family? I worry that he will want nothing to do with me once I come home from the hospital...that he will no longer greet me with that sweet smile of his when I go to get him out of his bed in the mornings, or when he wakes up from his nap. I worry that he will no longer want to run into my arms, or lay his head against mine, or give me kisses no matter how many times in a row I ask for them. I worry that I will not be enough for him, as well as this new little baby and my husband. I worry that I will not be able to show enough love to Keegan...and that I will not be able to reassure him that he is still my whole world, even though my world has now gotten a little bigger and it includes a brother as well. He was the one that first made me a mom, and who opened my eyes to how much I could truly love someone so completely and nothing and no one could ever change that. I worry, also, that in trying to make sure that Keegan knows how much I love him that I will not be able to show that same amount of love to my husband and this new little baby of ours. Can there really be enough room in my heart for all of them? Do I really possess that endless capacity to love that I have heard so many mothers talk about? I worry that we really didn't think this whole "second baby" thing through and worry that maybe we should have waited just a little bit longer.

Along with the worry, there is the guilt. I feel guilty for changing Keegan's life at such a young age. I feel guilty for being so impatient with him lately, when it is so not his fault that I am huge and hot and exhausted. I feel guilty that I haven't given him as much attention as I feel that I should have, and I worry that I won't be able to squeeze enough "mommy and me" time in over the next 7 days. This is the last week of his life that he will be an only child...and I know that he has no clue that it is coming to an end, and it shames me with endless guilt that I am taking all that from him. I feel guilty for worrying about the ways that this little baby will change our lives in ways that we haven't even contemplated yet. I feel guilty for the added pressure that I feel this puts on AJ, who is already working so hard to make sure that I have the privilege of being at home with our children. I feel guilty that I don't tell him enough just how much I appreciate all of his hard work and all that he does for me...for all of the responsibility that he has placed upon his shoulders in order for it to not be on my own.

And yet there is this hope and wonder about what this new little baby will bring into our lives. I can't wait to meet him...to count all of his fingers and toes; to see who he looks the most like; to see whose eyes he got, or which one of our chins and nose he inherited. I can't wait to watch his own little personality develop, and to see with wonder, the world through his little eyes as he discovers this amazing world that he has been brought into. Keegan is still young enough that I remember the awe and wonder that I felt when he was first born. The amazement that this little baby was mine...that he was a part of both my husband and me. That he was created out of this amazing love that I have for my husband, and I can't wait to feel that again. I don't really have the words to describe what it feels like to hold your own, precious little baby in your arms for the first time...and I can't wait to do it all over again.

And still I fret and I worry...and the minutes just tick on by...faster I think, now that I know exactly when the end is going to be.

So Much for the Lazy Days of Summer....

I've always thought that summer was for relaxing and enjoying the nice weather and the time off from work, wchool, etc. Yeah, so much for that. We've got a busy few weeks ahead of us, and while I'm excited for all that is going on, since it will help keep my mind off of the whole "due date" issue, I can't help but get a little exhausted when I look at our calendar as well.

This past week, AJ had to go up LA to cover the X-Games for his boss who had to be here in San Diego for the Chargers football practice. His boss generously offered to get us a hotel room if Keegan and I wanted to go up with him and to get us (meaning Keegan and me since AJ had free-reign for the whole weekend) into some of the events (I guess it's one of the perks that goes with the job). I was pretty excited...we went with AJ last year and had a blast. In all my excitement, however, I forgot the fact that I was 3 1/2 weeks away from my due date, that AJ would be working which means that I had to entertain a very active 18-month-old on my own and that it was going to be STINKIN HOT in Los Angeles. Needless to say, it was a little bit harder than I thought it would be, but still totally worth it every time I caught a glimpse of the totally entranced look on my little boys face (needless to say, we have now created a monster who thinks that he is going to be allowed to skateboard, BMX bike, motorcycle ride, rally car drive, generally put his life in extreme danger of broken bones and stitches, etc. by the time he's 3). And it did give Keegan and I a chance to have some mommy and son time before we became a family of four, which is something that I have been trying to do more and more of, since I know that things will change once we add another little boy to this family, and that there will be difficult times as we all adjust to the chance.

Oh yeah, and we got to experience the stereotypical "I stayed in a flea-ridden hotel in Los Angeles" cliche. Mind you, we were at the Sheraton right by the airport (another thing that Keegan loved, since he got to watch airplanes take off and land to his hearts content) and not the Motel 6 in a red-light district, seedy part of town. It's a good thing that we didn't have to pay for the room...someone at corporate office would have received a nasty letter from me, and to be honest, I'm still considering sending one, especially when I look at Keegan's legs and see all of the healing bites (I managed to escape unscathed, thankfully). The lesson I learned from the experience....don't use the hotel cribs when you stay somewhere if you can absolutely avoid it. That's actually where I think the fleas were hanging out prior to being let loose in our room. SO GROSS!!!

Now we have a few weeks chock full of family visiting, friends visiting, renewing old friendships, the circus coming to town (I'm so excited for this one...I just need to remember to take the camera), trips to the zoo, to the wild animal park, to Sea World, to the park, a bathroom to complete (the cabinets have been ordered, the window will be ordered soon and tile is getting picked out this week), new projects to start (since we are moving the boys bedroom to a bigger one, but we want to put in better insulation first...and maybe paint if I can talk AJ into it), books to read, a baby to prepare for, oh yeah, and then the normal work/church/adult responsibility things. I can't wait!!! I love it. I can rest another time.

And just because I've had some requests for recent photos of the little guy, here are a couple of shameless ones because he's so stinkin' cute (and I recognize that I'm totally biased when I say that): (Keegan likes to have his hair done "just like daddy"...this is the result)

(one of the only times you will see a picture of me this pregnant. Try to ignore me and focus on the cute kid in my arms please)

(Keegan's favorite...the big air ramp for BMX and skateboard. At least, it was until the dirtbikes started up and then all he could say was "Vroom, Vroom, Vroom" for the rest of the day. He had already decided, by the way, that he was going to be allowed to ride all three of the aforementioned things...much to my fear and trepidation)

(such a serious expression for such a little boy)